How to Get #1 Rank on Google, Guaranteed
I'm not much of a snake oil salesman, but I figured out a way to rank # 1 on Google guaranteed. I'm so confident in my new system that I do not even think to charge for this excellent advice.
First, you will need a website. A website will do, but it must be yours, as studies have shown that it is unlikely your site will rank in the SERPS if, in fact, you do not actually have a website.
Did you set up? Great ... continue reading.
Second, you must create a new page or blog post. Make sure you do not accidentally noindex it, which will void all warranties and guarantees that come with this advice.
Third, like, seven random words on this page, preferably with valid HTML. The key is that they must be random, no sentence, no long tail search terms, no phrases, nothing but gibberish.
example:
Banana Chalk prototype fighter grainy evergreen horn
Alphabet beta plausibility gorilla cereal telephone ejaculation
Fun tore Quasar yellow nostalgic crisis zipper
Documentation forking heater baseball radio government mouse
Target a link from the home page of your site to this new page with the exact phrase as the hyperlink text. Again, double check that you do not noindexing page, or nofollowing this link.
Finally, press my few links button.
I guarantee that within two weeks you will rank for your random phrase in the # 1 position of all search engines, or I will personally apologize for your misfortune on Twitter.
I will never understand why people think that this SEO thing is so hard ...
Categories:
0 comments:
Post a Comment